395: Behind The Sessions: Boundaries and Cutting Ties With Abusive Family Members

Today’s session is about recognizing abusive behaviors in family members and taking appropriate action to protect your mental and physical health. I want to give a warning that some of these situations can be difficult to hear if you have a history of various kinds of abuse. Abusive family members can come in the form of a partner, sibling, extended family, and even parents of adult kids who are now becoming parents. We have previously discussed how your new life as a parent can bring up issues from the past, further complicate delicate family relationships, and bring a sharp focus to your life as a parent caring for your newborn child. For anyone dealing with these challenging family relationships, the message is that there is help, hope, and coping skills to make things easier. Join us as we explore this topic. Show Highlights: Cutting off ties with a family member is a complex decision. Abusive behavior can be from those who are mean, manipulative, and/or toxic. Setting boundaries requires changing patterns of communication and behavior, which can cause more stress and leave you feeling vulnerable. Ways in which family members can be toxic or abusive: Constant criticism and belittling Excessive control over your life Lack of respect for your boundaries Emotional withholding or “the silent treatment” Physical aggression, intimidation, or abuse Gaslighting Comparison and favoritism Consistent disregard for your well-being Becoming a new parent automatically means that there are new boundaries around raising that baby. Dr. Kat’s advice for finding support Setting boundaries and cutting off a relationship brings a sense of loss and grief.  Resources: Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services.  You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.   Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today! If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices